Another early morning for me thanks to pregnancy insomnia, but you want to know the craziest part: the past two days I’ve actually enjoyed it!
Parrish is traveling for work, which means that I have the house all to myself. So when I wake up at unnatural hours, I can embrace it. And….write a blog post two days in a row!
Yesterday and today I have
crawled hoisted out of bed and let the dogs outside while I make my treasured morning cup of coffee and toast two slices of gluten free waffle.
I’m telling you guys, that GIANT batch of waffles is paying off – I am in love with having fresh, homemade waffles in less than 2 minutes.
After the dogs have finished their business, I get back in to bed and start my morning off suuuuuuuper slow and for me, that’s just as good as sleeping in. I’m still giving my body rest but I’m not fighting the fact that brain is awake.
Which has also helped my mood. So much of how I feel these days is based on perspective and projection. For example, I made the decision last week to stop being brutally honest when everyone asks me how I feel.
Because here’s the thing: EVERYONE asks pregnant people how they feel. It’s just one of those small talk topics – I’m not even sure they actually care. And what I noticed was that when I was honest, it didn’t feel good to tell my tales of woe. Instead it just felt like wallowing.
So now I’m saving my true feelings for close friends and family who are here to support me when I tell them that if I throw up one more time I might scream, or that some days my belly feels so tight that I think it might pop. For everyone else, “I’m doing good…today.”
And just saying that out loud has honestly started to make it feel true. In my daily life I interact with TONS of different people, so I say that “I’m feeling good today” or “I am so blessed to be having a healthy pregnancy” around 20-30 times a day. Call it the power of persuasion or fake it till you make it, but I will never stop being amazed by the power of words.
Fear is a story we tell ourselves.
That simple fact shattered my life the first time I heard it because at that point, I had been living in fear for years. I was afraid that I would never lose the weight that I had gained, that I would never be a truly happy person deep down, and from that fear sprang doubt in myself and my abilities.
For me, Zumba brought me back to life.
It shook me up and exposed a confidence in myself that I hadn’t felt in such a long time. The more I exercised, the more I felt like feeding my body properly. The more I fed my body properly, the happier I became. The happier I became, the more weight just fell off.
In this pregnancy, I’ve had to scale back my workouts tremendously. No more bootcamps that make you nearly puke (in a good way) or long runs with Parrish on the weekends. I’ve had to put that part of myself on hold. I can still exercise, just not in the same way.
But what I’ve realized is, I still need to tell myself that I am a kick ass athlete. I need to feel confident in myself and my abilities – now more than ever actually because I have to get a baby out of my body pretty soon…..
So much about how we feel about ourselves, is what we tell ourselves. I love this quote:
I couldn’t have said it better myself First Lady!
So I’m choosing to feel better about myself, even when I can’t use exercise to get me there.