Monday, August 6, 2012

Losing a Father.

On this blog in the past four years, I have spoke often about how impermanent life can be, and how quickly it can change.

This is one of those posts.

This past Friday night, Parrish’s Dad, Mike, passed away.

It was sudden. Unexpected. And after everything we went through this past spring, the month we spent watching him get stronger in the hospital, it feels confusing.

But if there is one thing that I never question, it is that God knows the plan. He does not make mistakes, and so it is with this truth that I search out my own.

I can easily find shadows of the plan in the past few months, in the way that Mike was able to visit so many family members and dear friends. That Mike wasn’t in the hospital or hooked up to a machine, which I know he wouldn’t want. He was at home; exactly where he would have wanted to be. And that things were not left unsaid. These are the tiny understandings that are helping me build up the foundation for Parrish. 

Watching a loved one lose their parent can be painful, and watching a son lose his father is nearly unbearable.

But Parrish a strong man, and Mike had a big part in that.

And it is in times of sadness, that amazing things can happen.

It is in times of sadness, that you can realize how truly and deeply you are loved.Parrish and I have been overwhelmed by the generosity of family and friends. We have been supported and carried on this path.

But what we have also seen is how deeply loved Mike is, and that is solely because of what a good man he was. Strangers come out of the past, with nothing but fond memories and stories of how Mike helped them through a hard time.

These instances of love. Appreciating those you have and understanding the magnitude of those you now have watching your back in heaven, these are the instances of overwhelming happiness in our time of sorrow.

Writing this post has been the hardest thing I have ever written, but at the same time, it’s important to me, that you – dear reader and friend – know my life. And from my life I hope you can understand the impermanence of life and the importance of knowing you are loved.

21 comments:

Natalie Hinton-Jennings said...

Words fail me with events like this. But wishing you both sympathy and His love and peace in this most difficult time. *hugs*

katiekathleen said...

Thinking of you and Parrish!

Ang said...

I am so sorry to hear about your father in law! I'll be praying for your family!

Betsy said...

I am so very sorry for your loss...

Pursued said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stationary Runner said...

It sounds like he was a wonderful man. My deepest condolences to you, Parrish, and your families.

chimes said...

Thinking of you. I am with Mike. I wouldn't want to be hooked up to machines either. It's so hard to watch a family member pass, but it's also even harder to watch them suffer for even longer than they have to. Hang in there and be there for Parrish (as I'm sure you're already doing).

Anonymous said...

Powerful.

Emily

Kit said...

i'm so very sorry. i know how hard it is to guide someone through losing a parent, but watching the love of your life go through it must be horrible. it's amazing that you are able to see the shadows of God's plan. please let Parrish know we're praying for him and his family, and we're praying for you to keep up strength for him.

Renee said...

so so sorry. so many things in life don't make sense but you said it best that God doesn't mess up - no matter how 'messed up' it feels, you have to trust that God knows the plan. Praying for you all in this time, praying for peace that passes all understanding.

trishtator said...

My love to you and your family right now :). Good thing you all have each other! Take care,
Trish

Jen said...

Oh April I am so so so very sorry to hear of this devastating loss. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and Parrish.

laurie said...

I am so sorry. My heart goes out to You, Parrish & family. I know it is awful and wish you strength and peace.
Laurie

Meister @ The Nervous Cook said...

Thinking of you both, with much love.

nellbe said...

Hi Marlow, I am so sorry to hear of your sad news. I have also been where you are, it can be hard watching your loved one go through this. I wish you love and strength.

Nellbe xx

Courtney said...

I'm wishing that you come to a place of peace and comfort. Hugs.

Sam said...

My sympathies go out to your and your family during this difficult time. Praying for you.

Catherine said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers!

miss.simmone said...

My condolences to you and your family in this trying time. I'm praying for you and Parrish and hope you draw strength from one another and the outpouring of love all around you.

Jenni said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, and my heart goes out to you and Parrish. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers, and I hope that you are able to find peace and comfort in each other.

Ali said...

You both are so loved.

Crazy how quickly life changes. Just another reason we need to live the best and most we can while we can.

My thoughts are with Parrish, you & the entire family.